Think of it this way. A person comes to your door or into your room if you are living in a care facility. You've never met this person, but he or she announces that it's time for a bath. The person proceeds to help you get ready for your bath, while you remain confused and frightened. Who is this person? Why do they want to give you a bath? What would you do? Likely have the "fight or flight" response which is wired into human brains, right? The modern approach of consistent assignment, which means that the person needing care is assigned a specific caregiver, is a big step forward in this regard. A care receiver is much more likely to respond well to a person they know and like.

Caregivers are only human. We generally get into caregiving for our elders because of our love for them. However, diseases such as dementia, Parkinson's disease and strokes, can take such a huge toll on the elder that we barely recognize the personality of the person we are caring for. They can become so difficult to manage, care can be so exhausting, guilt over not being able to make things better for them can be so overwhelming, that we don't know where to turn. How do we cope when we can no longer cope?

No matter what reason lies behind the move to a facility, when people move from the family home to an assisted living center or a nursing home, they still need to feel they are at home. This feeling of "home" is often highlighted during the holidays, when tradition commonly comes into play. Help your loved ones celebrate, even if they are not cognitively able to take part in festivities. In your heart, you'll know you did the right thing.